Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize