Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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