u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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Be still, my beating vagina.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
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Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize