I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize