yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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