the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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