I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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