i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize