So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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