Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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