Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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