Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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