i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize