I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize