i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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