I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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