i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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