Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
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You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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