I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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