Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize