I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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