So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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