he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize