Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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