if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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