Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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