you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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