Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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