ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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