My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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