i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
and you fell through a lawn chair
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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