That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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