she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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