Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize