wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
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you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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