All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
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