So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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