If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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