at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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