did you get engaged???
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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