Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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