i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
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After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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