How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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