Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think your dad took our porno
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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