thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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