i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize