This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
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He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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