he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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