He asked to "fluff my boner.."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
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I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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