The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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