Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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